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Featured satire of the week

Tough times for government contractors - A report by Timothy Twinkie

Government building contractor Bodgitt and Scarpa (BS) have yet again gone into administration. The recent economic downturn has left the company's accounting department in disarray.

One lucid employee was quoted as saying “we were recently asked by the government if we could bid for contracts at a lower, more economic price” “at first we were confused, laundering taxpayers money is our bread and butter; i can't remember the last time we did any construction projects."

In an interview with the CEO of BS, Ivana Skamyu, she claimed that the news came as a shock; also stating “as soon as we heard about the expectation of frugality we contacted our shareholders, who being close family members of cabinet ministers would have some influence over what was happening”.

This isn't the first time Bodgitt and Scarpa (BS) have been in the news. In 2019 the company's directors were questioned by the infrastructure-select-comittee as to why a hospital being built in West Lothian has been under construction since 1986, costing the taxpayer over 5.65 billion pounds. The Board of Directors responded with indignation and refused to offer any insight, claiming security concerns.

Staff at 'The Loz Blog' continue to investigate this situation and will be offering updates next week.

As ever, stay sharp and carry spare underwear.

Timothy Twinkie – Chief Derpator and Honorary Girl Scout Cookie

Featured guest article of the week

OP-ED: An analysis of the protests in the United States – Charles T. Zeebrucker, Washington D.C

DC Protests June 6; Author Kyle .T

In the midst of a worldwide health pandemic an act of violence by Minneapolis Police marked another chapter in the story of oppression and injustice against the African-American minority in the United States.

As a result, hundreds of thousands of people rose up and took to the streets in protest of not only police brutality, but the endemic racism within policing in America and the other forms of racism that are perpetuated in American society.

Peaceful protestors were brutalised by police and far-right groups; and the President of the United States added fuel to the fire by ignoring the injustices and the plight of these people, instead issuing threats of deadly violence such as 'when the looting starts, the shooting starts' [sic] and encouraging the use of military force against protestors.

Cities all across the U.S had reached a flashpoint and the heavy-handed militarized response by the police and the National Guard did nothing but fan the flames. On a minor note, some members of police forces appeared to stand with the protestors against the racism. Call me Sally and label me a skeptic though because these appearances seemed like cold-hearted photo-ops to try and control the media narrative.

In online forums and social media, racists and closet racists were using the excuse that there are good cops and that 'some bad apples' aren't reflective of police in America as a whole. They neglected to mention the other half of the phrase, in full: 'some bad apples spoil the whole bushel'. Racism has been a problem for decades within law enforcement; why have they been unable to deal with this serious crime?

Obvious answer is obvious; racism is endemic within policing in America; and the main form of oversight was for these racists to perform their own investigations and declare themselves not guilty.

As has happened in Minneapolis, police forces need to be de-funded; their military-style weapons and toys removed and a new form of peace office created with massive community oversight. This would differ from what happened in Compton on September 16, 2000, where the local PD were disbanded and the county sheriff's office took over law enforcement. It is said in Southern California that sociopaths fired from the LAPD end up working for sheriff's offices, often in adjacent counties. The level of cop-related deaths in the rather rural Kern County for instance is astonishing: in 2015 cops there killed more people per capita than in any other American county.

The protests of 2020 are powerful, brave and awe-inspiring. They are reminiscent of the civil rights movement in the late 1950's/early 60's but with a whole new dimension: social media. The world has been able to closely follow and observe exactly what has been happening in the United States.

My thoughts lie with everyone who has been affected by racism, police brutality and the unjust legal system in the United States.

A reminder: #hernameisbreonnataylor #hisnameisjustinhowell

Charles T. Zeebrucker

Note from the editor:

I'd like to thank Charles for his razor-sharp insight into today's world. Thank you, Loz Jones.